Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, beer. Big fan.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
