I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
