I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
