Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
