My Higher Power is John Stamos
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
