he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
