Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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