Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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