Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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