he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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