she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
we're so committed to being not committed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
