so explain again why im purple
no
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please don't give away my fajitas
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
