he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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