cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
