so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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