He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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