If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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