its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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