So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
