real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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