I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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