The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
