is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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