my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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