doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize