Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
