Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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