About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
