sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
