Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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