Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
PANTIES FOUND
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