I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
