Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
