Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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