I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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