Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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