why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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