Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
