Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
