For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So apparently I’m into choking now
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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