dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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