You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
