My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
