Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
