I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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