I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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