I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You did what with his pubic hair?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
