the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
