office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
