I look better un-naked...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
