Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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