TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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