If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
