can we get nightvision for the apartment?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
