theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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