Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
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well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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