I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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