At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
